PICK A CARD...ANY CARD...

(Let me preface today’s blog post by telling you it isn’t my usual style.  In today's blog, I am Not poking fun at some of the very serious experiences I have had during my cancer journey.  I thought it was important for people to know that what I have gone through and am going through is difficult at best and I truly sympathize with anyone and everyone who has gone through or is currently going through a similar journey.)

Someone said to me recently, “How do you do it?”  Meaning, how do I live each day with cancer and not let it get me down.  The truth is, it Does get me down sometimes.  But, I try to give every new day, every person in my life, and every situation that I deal with, my “all” (100%).   Even when I feel the worst,  I try to keep pushing through it and do the best I can to BE in the moment.  Don’t let my sense of humor in some of my previous blogs fool you.  There are days when I can hardly get out of bed due to fatigue and yes, even pain.  During chemo, there were times when I wanted to scream and/or cry; times when I crawled to and from the bathroom (because I was too sick or too weak to stand on my own two feet);  and times when I questioned how long I could keep on going through this day after day…

Do I wish sometimes that I didn’t have to deal with this disease?  Absolutely!  EVERYDAY!  Let’s face it, I got a raw deal with the “cards I’ve been dealt”!  At some point, no matter who you are and what cards life has “dealt” you, only YOU can decide which “card” to pick in this game we call life…

1)  You can pick the pity card – “Why did this happen to me?”

2)  You can pick the angry card – “I hate this disease, chemo, 
       the side effects, everything…” and let the anger consume
       your entire being.

3)  You can pick the defeat card – “I give up; I can’t take this anymore!”
       (and Quit altogether)

                                                                     OR

4)  You can pick the survival card – “I am going to do whatever it takes
       to survive this!”

      (So, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again!!!)

You may think that I Don’t understand what you are going through (if you are fighting cancer) or in any other horrible situation.  But, trust me, when I say, I Do understand how hard things can get sometimes; how angry bad situations can make you feel;  how painful this disease and its treatments can be; and how much you can want to just give up, sometimes!

But, then I look into the faces of my family and I know I can do anything!  If anything happened to one of them, I would summon “superhuman” strength to protect them or do whatever it took to make what was happening to them better.   Like everyone else, I have been faced with situations I wish I had never had to deal with, but I have learned that you can weather just about any storm if you have Faith, hope for a better outcome, and are willing to do what it takes to survive. 

We all have a survival instinct and our own unique coping mechanisms.  My instinct is to Fight!  My coping mechanism is a Sense of Humor.  And, if we are lucky, we have the support of family, and friends, to help us get through the tough times.  I have been blessed to have the love and support of family and friends who have rallied around me in times of need.  If you don’t have family and friends to support you, there are numerous support groups, charities, places of worship, patient advocates, health insurance providers, cancer ministries, and all kinds of groups willing to help those in need.  All you have to do is look for them, and not be afraid to ask for help! 

First, and foremost, remember that YOU are in control of how you fight this disease and YOU make the final decisions on what treatments YOU are willing to try.  YOU have to be your own advocate by researching treatments, getting second or third opinions, and determining which health care providers to use for your treatment.  My oncologist always reminds me that he is there to give me the information and I choose where we go with it...I am in the Driver's Seat!

This disease can make you feel out of control, lost, lonely, isolated, and sometimes like you don’t know where to turn.  On those days, I choose to pick the survival card by asking someone for help (which if you know me, personally, you realize is one of the hardest things for me to do).  I want to be “in control” all the time; but in reality, I am not the ONE who “deals the cards”.

If I can be of help to you on your own cancer journey, please leave me a comment. I will try to help you find the answers.  Thanks for checking out my blog!  I hope you find the information here helpful and maybe find some inspiration from my experiences.  And, sometimes, I hope I can even make you laugh!  - Barb