Who's In The Driver's Seat? (You Can't Control Everything!)

We never really know what life has in store for us or what Blessings will come our way.  No one can predict what will happen tomorrow, or next week, or in an hour, etc.  But, we humans always feel like we have to be "IN THE DRIVER'S SEAT" and/or IN CONTROL of our environment, and everything in it; which is obviously NOT possible...I have always been one of those people that has trouble "relinquishing" control! 

I  attribute this trait to my Mom (SUPERWOMAN), who was also a two time cancer survivor.  She was what I fondly refer to as a "June Cleaver" (if you are too young to remember the show "Leave It To Beaver", then, this will be lost on you).  She was always dressed in either a dress or skirt (I don't think she wore a pair of pants until she was in her 70's, and she never even owned a pair of jeans), always wore makeup, and had her hair styled just right, no matter what she was doing. She was the kind of Mom that could do Everything from whipping up a gourmet meal at a moments notice (when my Dad called to say he was bringing home a business associate for dinner, unexpectedly) to the Mom who lovingly handmade our Halloween costumes (often decorating them with paint, or other embellishments, which took hours). The kind of Mom whose house barely looked lived in; even though she had four kids with busy schedules, a husband who traveled frequently for business, and she also worked a full-time job!

She made dinner Every Night (no "fast food" in those days); planted flowers and vegetables in our garden; made sure we did our homework/school projects (she didn't do them For us); starched and ironed my dad's button-down shirts (AND our cotton sheets, tablecloths, clothes, etc.); drove us to all our activities; cleaned our house; ran errands; loved to paint and do ceramics (when she  found time in her busy schedule/I am guessing when we were asleep); took swimming lessons one night a week, so she wouldn't drown if she took us to the local swimming pool in the summer; and Always managed to make Everything she did look Easy!  I only wish I were half as good at some of these things as she was; and I hope she knew how Amazing I think she was!

I realized something the other day, though...when my Mom was sick, her parents, two sisters, and even a cousin (who was a nurse) rallied around us and "took over" doing all my mom's usual duties, as my Dad still had to go to work.  I was a little girl at the time, and I still remember how important having that help from them was to my mom's healing.  I understand so much more about her journey with this disease, now, after being on this journey of my own.

My chemo treatments also made it difficult for me to do regular everyday activities, sometimes, too...cooking, cleaning my house, caring for my family, grocery shopping, and just about everything else I am used to doing.  It is hard to feel like you can't keep up with your usual schedule and/or do things for your family that they regularly count on you to do...

Cooking was one of the most difficult things for me during my treatments.
You lose your sense of taste, lose your appetite, and often feel too sick to even think about food, let alone cook it.  Then, there is what I  fondly refer to as "Chemo Brain" which is a phenomenon where you have issues with thinking clearly..."Did this recipe call for Sugar or Salt?" Or,"Did I put this ingredient in yet, or not?" Let's just say that it makes for some rather interesting meals and new taste sensations!  LOL!  However, I was also Blessed with family and friends who set up a care calendar to make meals for us, when I was receiving my chemo treatments.  Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for this loving gesture that so many of you made!  

There is a service called "Cleaning for a Reason" that offers FREE housecleaning for chemotherapy patients, which I have been told is very helpful.  So, if you are in need of this service, I know they have a website where you can sign up.  I have not personally used this service, but have received other help with getting my house cleaned during my treatments...Am I the only "Crazy" person that runs around her house "tidying up" before someone comes to help clean it?  I know it sounds nuts, but I was afraid they would "back out" and not want to clean, if they saw the condition of my home prior to my "tidying up"...LOL!

At first, I didn't know what to do with myself, since other people were doing some of my usual chores for me.  It felt surreal to not be responsible for all the tasks I was used to doing.  Then, I realized that I should be grateful for the opportunity to use that time to rest, relax, and heal...that sometimes you need to "sit still" (often a foreign concept for me) and not worry about whether everything gets done or not.

Through this experience, I have learned:
- that sometimes THINGS ARE BEYOND YOUR CONTROL.
- that you have to know when to LET OTHERS HELP YOU; and be Thankful 
   for their Love and Support!
- that I DON'T have to be SUPERWOMAN!
- that I DON'T have to do EVERYTHING myself!
- that my house doesn't have to look like a MUSEUM.
- that I AM NOT PERFECT, and my family is happy with me 
  JUST THE WAY I AM!

You don't have to always be in the Driver's Seat...sometimes it's nice to just sit still and be the Passenger.  You never know what you'll see, if you take the time to slow down and maybe look out the window for awhile! - Barb